Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
