kristin has been a bad kristin
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
