Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
There r osticjed everywhere
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize