why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
