You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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