Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
