Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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