so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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