Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
