Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
