He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
