Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
You are the jesus of drinking
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
