The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
