But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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