Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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