I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize