Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
we should paint friendship bongs
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
