break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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