What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
