first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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