its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Randomize
