i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
