We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
