what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
