Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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