I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
