OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I look excited, but its just a facade.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
