My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
