who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Randomize
