An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Randomize
