i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
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