i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
