Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
