fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize