New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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