How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
