Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
