Is it because I queefed?
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
