Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
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