I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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