if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
