there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I am available for nakedness
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
