my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
