I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
