Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
