I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Randomize