he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
