his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize