Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
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