i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
