Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
