He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
