I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
