now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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