I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
