Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
