I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize