Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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