So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize