So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
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