I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
