jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
