brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
