Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
