Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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