the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
