I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Another day, another engagement, another cat
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Randomize
