well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
